My destructive Best Friend

Oh my goodness.. I know I have bad management and that I am a procrastinator, but I sort of thought I would grow out of it.. since elementary school!!!

Ever since I was in Elementary school, I would leave my homework till the very last minute on Sunday night to complete it. I would go out with my family during the weekends and when they would ask me if I had finish my homework, I will tell them in my straightest voice "YES... Mum!!!", indicating that they were being naging and should know better than to ask their perfect daughter whether she had finish her homework or not. Of course I did my homework, what do you think? And I would proceed to feel all guilty and wondering if I can finish my homework in the 10 minutes that I estimate would take me to complete the homework. But obviously I would take longer than that 10 minutes. Sometimes I would even have to bring my homework to class the next day and copy off someone's book.

And though each week I would tell myself I would do it on Friday afternoon itself, I would never get down to do it. I would tell myself I have plenty of time and that I don't have to worry. But the weird thing is that though I'm having fun, at the back of my mind, I will always have the dreaded feeling that I have homework back home to complete! But no... I just wouldn't change.

It went on till I was in high school. However, now it concerns my exams. I would not study until the day before exam. Every single time when exams are drawing near, students will ask each other whether they have "started" or not, and you can start hearing yes from students two weeks before exams. And that two weeks is already considered late for some students! But for me, I start a day before the exam!!! I just can't bring myself to do it an extra day before. I need the anxiety and drive to push me to study! And I will stay the WHOLE night studying and by the end of the exam, when everyone is out partying, I would be sick in bed because I didn't have enough sleep!!!

I would then realized that studying isn't so bad after all and there are a lot of interesting stuff for me to learn in my books, and that I should start earlier so I can remember more! But Again and again I failed to do so and now.. I'm in college!

I just skipped a class to do a paper for another class!!! I didn't skip the class to sleep, or to have fun. I skipped the class to finish a paper! I had one whole week to do my paper and I did it at 6am the morning it was due! I slept at 11pm last night because I was so tired and vowed to wake up at 4am so I can attend my 830am class. But nope, I woke up at 630am in the end and since I had class at 1030am and the paper was due at 12pm, I was forced to make the decision of skipping my 830am class.

Some of you may think its no big deal, that you skip class everyday and that I'm a nerd for making such a big deal out of nothing. But when all your classes have only maximum 18 people in it and the professor knows you by your name, you tend to make a priority to attend classes!!!

Argh.. procrastination... My biggest most destructive best friend.. and he's still with me now.. As I type this fully knowing I have Spanish and Japanese test tomorrow!