Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Unknown Future

Its dark now. And I'm sitting in front of my computer facing the reflection of myself in the window right in front of my desk. What does life mean? Its Friday and the first (technically second) week of school has passed. As seniors, we all have this fear, this worry, this anticipation of what the future has in store for us. On one hand, we know that there are some things which are uncontrollable and its based upon the forces of nature. I mean.. who can tell you if you're gonna find a guy in the end of your senior year and get married and have children? What will then happen to your graduate school plans? Or what if you suddenly get diagnosed with a terminal disease in the middle of the year?

On the other hand, you also know that how your future depends entirely on your actions and the steps you take now. Are you gonna study for the LSATs and the GRE to prepare for graduate schools? Its expensive. You do know there right? Are you really sure you're gonna stay committed?

However, it is also dependent on your past. What if you played so much in your freshmen, sophomore and junior year that your current GPA is only a 2.9? How are you gonna get into the graduate school of your dreams?

Argh.. where am I going with this. I have no idea.

Everyone in my senior class is just so stress and worried about their future. What am I gonna do after Soka? Do I wanna work first then go for graduate school? If not, what graduate school do I go to? Am I sure I want to pursue a MA in international studies? Or get a JD? Or go to pre-med? Where should I go? How? When?

And if I really make the decision now, who is to say that I will really like it? I mean.. what the heck?! Why should we have to make a decision that will affect the rest of our lives? I know I know.. things happen for a reason and nothing goes to waste. But.. I mean.. we heard a lot about lawyers always having depression and hating their job. Did they know this was gonna happen to them when they decided to take the LSAT?

Argh.. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to face all these questions. That I'll be a freshman again. But then life will be quite boring. I mean the unknown can be quite interesting too right?

Who knows.. I might find a prince and be a princess. =P

Lets just get pass LSATs first. Three more weeks. o.O

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