Disappointment

Have you ever plan something to its very last detail and all you need to do is wait for the right day to follow your plan when suddenly, everything is all crush?

Not because of someone else or unforeseen circumstances.

All because of your own carelessness. Your very own fault. No one to blame but yourself.

That although somebody else is the whole reason why your plan failed, ultimately it is yourself that is to blame? That your perfect week ahead, or perfect holiday is totally ruined because of one small mistake? And if that mistake didn't happen, if you were not sooo careless, you would be enjoying your perfect week?

Ahh...!!!! My heart is broken to pieces now. And the worst thing is, I cannot be angry at anyone, especially not the person that spoiled my plan, because ultimately, it was my fault. It was me that lead to a change of events. Domino effect. From one single small mistake, to the destruction of my long thought perfect plan.

I know I'm overreacting but..

I'm totally crushed. I'm torn. I'm.. hopeless.

I shall hide in my dark corner for the next few days thinking about my mistake.

Two passports

My passport just expired a month ago and I just renewed it. I didn't know renewing your passport now is such a convenient process. Just go to Pusat Bandar Damansara and there's a machine there for you to update your information, put in your I/C (identification card), slip in an envelope with Rm300 in it, and you'll get your passport a few hours later. No more waiting in line for hours, and coming back a few days later.

But because my U.S Visa is in my old passport and I still need my visa to get into the States, I now have to carry two passports around with me. Like carrying one passport is not a burden enough. I always have this phobia especially when I'm travelling alone that someone may just steal my passport or me dropping or leaving it somewhere. I know Malaysian passport is not that attractive as say a US passport but I do know that its still quite sought after. If I lose it...

Scary thought. I just hate carrying two passports everywhere I go!

Malaysia home sweet Home..

I love Malaysia.

I also love the Twin Towers although we all say it looks like jagung!

Being a host has definitely open up my eyes to the beauty of Malaysia even more.





I love Malaysia!

I love being a woman

Don't mind me if I blog about women stuff a little bit more than usual here. I am a woman after all. Sometimes I feel that being a women is the most beautiful thing in the world. Maybe I'm born with good circumstances and I don't have to face the obstacles that women is the past have to face but I'm really blessed to be born a women. Though I know most men when ask the question "if you were given a choice, will you choose to be born a woman or a man", will normally answer the latter. For me, I will definitely want to be born a woman again in my next life.

Besides having the freedom to dress in different styles and go shopping every once in a while (ok, more like everyday), we women get to be sensitive, motherly, strong, feminine, and all thing sweet. We can choose to be soft and helpless and the next moment be the Joan of Arc of the 21st century.

We can choose to lead busy careers or be a stay home mum having the most noble job in the world: molding leaders of the future. We can know the feeling of having a living being grow inside us and know that we have endured the toughest pain of all: child birth.

What more can be more beautiful than being a woman?

Being in this modern world, it is even more crucial to equipt ourselves with everything to make sure we are happy ourselves without counting on others, especially when we are still sometimes viewed to be the weakest of the 2 sex.

I like the article below by Mia DeAngelo.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored..



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Summer Internships!

My university has a very good internship officer that helps students find a internship that best suits them. Internships are very good to beautify one's resume especially when a student intends to go on to Graduate degree immediately after their bachelor's degree without having any working experiences. Summer is the best time to find internships because its 3 months long. He can easily find me an internship for the summer even if I want it to be in New York. A lot of my friends are doing their internships all over the US and I have always wanted to go to New York. He even found them some Los Angeles jobs. What best way to experience a different place than by living there for a short period of time.

Unfortunately, summer holidays are also my only time to go back to Malaysia and see my family, especially Cody. If I don't go back during the summer holidays, I wont be able to go back for the rest of the year. Ahhh... decisions decisions.

For some reason though, I'm not looking forward to working life.

Brain drain

My friend from Australia just came back for her winter holidays. She's currently studying pharmacy in Melbourne and I was just chatting with her the other day about her future. What's she plans to do after her graduation and stuff.

One thing we touch on was where she plan to work after her graduation. Malaysia or Australia. We both agreed that Malaysia is our home no matter what but we also agreed that Malaysia is not exactly the best place for us to have the best career prospects. Especially for her since she's studying pharmacy. To Malaysians, pharmacies are those people that work in Guardian or Watson and you just go over and seek their "advice" to find the best medication you want in the store. We don't really think highly of them even though they have to go through almost the same training as doctors. The only thing she can do is work for pharmaceutical companies. Even then, its different than working overseas because pharmacies overseas are much respected compared to in Malaysia.

So what do you do when you love your home country but you know you can't really have a future there? You can't have everything right? Then there's the issue on where to set up a family. In Malaysia or overseas. But that's a story for another day.

Must boys be good with cars?

Are you the conservative kind that thinks that guys should be good with cars? My Form 6 friends and I went for clubbing the other day and on our way back, some of my friends stop and help another group of kids to fix a punctured tire. When they were in the parking lot, this gal came over and ask one of my guy friends if he knew how to fix a punctured tire and they ended up spending one hour fixing this girl's punctured tire at 4 am in the morning.

The funny thing was that this girl was together with 3 other girls, and one boy. And from the looks of it, this guy had no idea how to fix a punctured tire hence the owner of the car had to ask for my friends' help. I wonder how that guy felt, being the only guy among 4 girls and had no ability how to fix a punctured tire. I wouldn't have gave it a second thought myself but the rest of the night after that, my friends continued to discuss the situation, wondering how that guy felt seeing another guy fix the tire even though he was a guy himself.

Would you mind if your boyfriend is not familiar with car parts and can't change a tire? Of course it would be an added bonus if your girlfriend can change a broken tire but do you know yourself? What would you feel if you have to stand at the side waiting for your girlfriend to change the tire?

For the record, I personally have no idea how to change a punctured tire.

No Internet for Princess Shin

The hardest thing about being back home in Malaysia is that because my family doesn't live here anymore, the house doesn't have internet or phone access anymore. Without internet access is the worst part of all.. its like being cut from the rest of the world. I have no idea how I used to survive without internet last time.. Now I have to be at Old Town White Coffee place to go online to blog!!! Ahhh.. Internet is the best way to pass ur time especially when you have absolutely nothing to do at all!!! And now all I can do is look at the ceiling and count the wall cracks. I wonder how much it will cost to install a HDMI wall plate. Boohoo..

I know.. I know.. I shouldn't be complaining. I'm back home in my beloved country.. But.. Boohoo.. Its like I'm living in the jungle!! Ah..

Online Shopping

One thing I like about being in US is that I can do online shopping whenever I want and I don't have to worry about to high cost of shipping. Because most things are from US itself, it probably only cost about USD 2 to 5 per product. And I'm not the only one that thinks this way, my friends that are studying in Australia too love online shopping. One girlfriend of mine actually bought 8 pendents from a online boutique. I don't know what so special about the pendents that she bought but she must really love it to buy 8 of them! And all of them are for herself! Haha..

Shopoholics unite!

Besides that, one can always find a best buy at www.buy.com. Don't believe it, try it for yourself. Just be aware of using all your credit limit in one go!

Babies and their poops!

When normally does woman's biological clock start ticking? I'm not saying mine has already started but ahh... babies are sooo cute. Don't you always want t bring one home when you see a cute little baby on the street. Though to me, I only want to play with them. All those late night sleep, disposable diaper, breastfeeding, late night crying are all a no-no for me. I don't know about you but just thinking about child birth is totally freaking me out. I love babies and everything but...

I always tell Cody that when the child turns 5 we will give him or her away. The child is cutest when he/she is 2 to 3 years old, once they turn 5, all cuteness is gone.

Bluek! Don't you think so?

Different wavelengths

Cody is now studying robotics and automation in MMU university and right now, I'm having troubles understanding what he is going through is his course work. The stuff that we are studying are totally different. Mine deals with war, human rights, culture, humanities and stuff while he's are weird jargons like CAT5e, mathematical formulas, CAE and stuff. I know I'm simply typing all kinds of mumbo jumbo but..

I'm kinda worried that we'll have nothing to talk about in the future. He will face his own problems alone without sharing with me because he thinks I wont understand. And high chances are I wont.

How does couples with totally different career get together and communicate?

What has the world become?

I get so angry sometimes when I see commercials or advertisements about being slim and having the perfect shape. What is wrong with being happy with what we have? Why do we have to be bombarded with images of slim anorexic girls and have us believe that our body is not perfect? Is there such thing as "eat whatever you want and achieve your ideal body shape is 14 days?" How can you eat a certain diet pill and expect to become slim without exercising at all? Don't you think it makes you wonder what is inside these diet pills if it really works? And if it doesn't, all your money will go down the drain.

Why can't people understand that health is the most important thing and if you really want to achieve your ideal body shape, exercising and eating healthily is the best way?

What ifs of life

Do you think everyone should have life insurance? Isn't life suppose to be about living to the fullest and taking risk? Is it worth it to pay a certain amount of fees every month for the "what ifs" of life? Although I guess if you're living alone in this world is all right to think like that. But if you have a family to feed and children to count of you for their future, its another story altogether.

So does that mean young people does not need life insurance then? Only "parents" should have life insurance? What do you think?

The Real Woman Creed

What does it feels to be a woman? Women all over the world are always considered to be the weakest species and are not given the same rights as men in society. Why is that so? Is it the women themselves or the fault of the society? Do you think we as women should take responsibility of changing the world too?

“The Real Woman Creed”

I believe that within me lies an extraordinary radiance, and I commit to letting my light loose in the world.

I believe that the source of my power and wisdom is in the center of my being, and I commit to acting from this place of strength.

I believe that I possess an abundance of passion and creative potential, and I commit to the expression of these gifts.

I believe that the time has come to let go of old notions and unhealthy attitudes, and I commit to reexamine what I have been told about beauty and dismiss what insults my soul.

I believe that negative thoughts and words compromise my well being, and I commit to thinking and speaking positively about myself and others.

I believe that young women are in need of positive role models, and I commit to being an example of authenticity and self love.

I believe in the relationship between my well being and that of the planet, and I commit to a life of mindfulness that regards all living beings as holy and worthy of my love.

I believe that it is my spiritual responsibility to care for my body with respect, kindness, and compassion, and I commit to balancing my life in such a way that my physical being is fully expressed and nurtured.

I believe that joy is an essential part of wellness, and I commit to removing obstacles to joy and creating a life that is full of exuberance.

I believe that a woman who loves herself is a powerful, passionate, attractive force and I commit from this day forward to loving myself deeply and extravagantly.

- Jan Philips

Too little memory !

I dunno about you but I'm a big fan of downloading stuff off from the internet. Whether it is a legal or not is another issue but since I came back to Malaysia, I have been downloading countless shows and songs from the internet.

So much until my laptop only had like 0.78 GB!!! Imagine that! I wonder if the laptop will crash with that little memory space! All my precious pictures that I have taken over the year is all in there.. what if one day.. something happens & all of them are lost??

That's why I've been thinking, I should get a compact flash card as backup. Not only will I be able to use it as extra memory for my camera, I can also back the photos that are stored in my laptop on them so they'll be safe!

Bags!!!

Oh my god.. you can't believe the amount of shopping that I have been doing since I got back. I don't know if its because I'm converting everything to US dollars and thinking that everything is super cheap or I basically am sick but..

I am crazy !!!! Somebody sent me to the rehab for shopoholics!!!

What with being in Vietnam and Malaysia. Getting to bargain for bags, and clothes everywhere you go..

sigh.. heaven I tell you.

My latest craze is bags!!! Handbags, schoolbags, college bags, backpack, golf bags (Don't really know what I'll do with it but it looked so pretty), dating bags.. AHH!!! I even bought one cute file bag for RM10 (USD 3) in the night market near my house!

Somebody help me! Boohooo...

YMCA anyone?

Ever since I had a friend from Japan come over to my house to stay for a few weeks, my dad has been telling me to find cheap hotels to stay when I travel around the US during my holidays. I guess he knows how it now feels to host someone.

Seriously though, is it a big deal having your friend come over to your house to stay for a few weeks and you bringing them around town? Is it just me or is my parents just mean selfish people? I tend to have friends that easily give out invitations to stay at their place during the holidays, but mine give me such a hard time just staying for a few days.

I mean I always sing about how beautiful Malaysia is but how am I going to share it with anyone if I can't provide a place for them to stay? I mean, we are all students and we are not exactly rich enough to get a five star hotel to stay for an hour let alone the rest of our winter holiday!

What about you guys though? Do you like it when your friends stay at your place? Or your home is yours and no one else?

The slim Vietnamese Girls

Coming down to Ho Chi Minh can really put you in a low confidence mode. The Vietnamese girls here are soooo slim!!! Ahh.. I feel so sad just looking at them. I mean I know they have a hard life and all and are not as fortunate as us to be able to eat good food everyday but..

I wanna have a beautiful body to fit into that tight little Ao Dai outfit too!!!

I just went and tailored make one. Went to An Dong market, chose a material that I like, and waited for 4 days for them to make one that fits me! Sounds easy right? Argh.. the trouble we go through to make one is... terrible!!! Although its cheap, just USD 35 altogether including the material, the miscommunication that comes with it is sooooo tiring I tell you.. Argh!

First of all you can't speak their language, so you have no idea that USD 13 does not include workmanship but includes only the cloth. Then when they tell you we have to pay an extra USD 40 for workmanship, you don't know it its for four of us, or only three of us.

Typical traditional outfits!

Confusing I tell you.

Thank goodness one of them finally came forward and spoke in Cantonese to us. Or else, World War 3 would erupt!

No wonder Vietnam has no weight loss advertisement around. None as far as I can see! Haha.. compared to US? Haha..

*Sigh*